I Believe: nudity in films, affairs, living in. Kolkata actress Rii Sen spills on her wildside
I am a tripper. My world is all about imagination. Often my imaginary world blends in with my real world and I can’t differentiate one from the other.
Sometimes I wonder if I have a real self beyond my being an actor… But all I know is that films are my passion, love and my fodder for life…
I was born in Kolkata to Swapna and the late Dilip Sen. And my birthday falls on the 26th of July. When I was born, I was named Rituparna, but it was much later when I joined films that my name was changed to Rii. Soon after my birth, I lived mostly with my grandmother, as both my parents were working. My parents had a very turbulent personal life and were going through a divorce when I was barely two. I also have a brother, who is 10 years older to me.
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| with her mom |
But despite my parents’ disintegrating relationship, I had quite a joyous childhood living with my uncles, aunts and grandmother. All the pampering that came from them was an added bonus. I remember how I used to perform Bollywood numbers in front of my uncle’s friends and made them give me chocolates or toffees in return. I guess that was my first step towards acting. I must have taken my dancing talent very seriously because on every holiday, at 11 o’clock in the morning, I would visit all my neighbours, dance to Bollywood numbers and as remuneration take a bowl of tomato ketchup from them. I used to love eating tomato ketchup! I still do.
When I became older and started going to school, I got engrossed in studies. I played, made friends and watched films. But the trauma of my parents’ crumbling relationship did affect me. Though I was a happy child, I also felt insecure. They were my parents after all and I loved them and wanted them to be together. But I would also see them fighting and it would be traumatic. As a child, I was not directly affected as I had my extended family to look after me, but when I grew up, those memories came back to haunt me.
It was also a philosophical journey, as I learnt about a man-woman bond through my parents’ troubled relationship. I saw a lot of hatred between them… they would beat each other up in front of me. And I often wondered why human beings behaved like that. I thought if two people loved each other, it should be forever… There should be no space for hatred or fights. It made me realize the importance of relationships. Right now, the focus of my life is not just my career. It’s also about building relationships with people – not just your lover but everybody around you, but I’ll come to that later…
Soon after my parents’ divorce, my father died. He was diagnosed with liver cancer. I was too young then to understand the loss. Besides, I have no great memories of him as a dad other than a few vague incidents of taking a rickshaw ride with him, or him taking me out to buy a pair of shoes or chocolates.
It was also a philosophical journey, as I learnt about a man-woman bond through my parents’ troubled relationship. I saw a lot of hatred between them… they would beat each other up in front of me. And I often wondered why human beings behaved like that. I thought if two people loved each other, it should be forever… There should be no space for hatred or fights. It made me realize the importance of relationships. Right now, the focus of my life is not just my career. It’s also about building relationships with people – not just your lover but everybody around you, but I’ll come to that later…
Soon after my parents’ divorce, my father died. He was diagnosed with liver cancer. I was too young then to understand the loss. Besides, I have no great memories of him as a dad other than a few vague incidents of taking a rickshaw ride with him, or him taking me out to buy a pair of shoes or chocolates.
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| with her brother |
Back to my school days, I did my schooling from South Point School. I was quite a tomboy in school and always had more boys than girls as friends. I did all those things you were not supposed to do in school. I used to bunk class and watch films like ‘Rangeela’ and ‘Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge’, and would try and dress up like the heroines.
Since I went to a co-educational school, my introduction to the male world began early on. I was hardly 12 or 13 when a boy proposed to me. It was thrilling as it marked my first unsure steps into womanhood. There was innocence in those early days of holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes. My stepping into adulthood was further assisted by films like ‘Blue Lagoon’, which had just released.
I watched it with my friends. And when I was 17 or 18, I also watched ‘Kamasutra’ which was a big eye-opener in terms of exploring sexuality.
My parents were not very strict and that helped too. But I must say I was pretty rash. There was craziness and recklessness in those adolescent years which, of course, had its own charm. I fell in and out of affairs and there were numerous flings, but none important enough for me to remember. But I am happy that all those affairs and flings happened because they helped me understand myself and my body as a woman.
Since I went to a co-educational school, my introduction to the male world began early on. I was hardly 12 or 13 when a boy proposed to me. It was thrilling as it marked my first unsure steps into womanhood. There was innocence in those early days of holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes. My stepping into adulthood was further assisted by films like ‘Blue Lagoon’, which had just released.
I watched it with my friends. And when I was 17 or 18, I also watched ‘Kamasutra’ which was a big eye-opener in terms of exploring sexuality.
My parents were not very strict and that helped too. But I must say I was pretty rash. There was craziness and recklessness in those adolescent years which, of course, had its own charm. I fell in and out of affairs and there were numerous flings, but none important enough for me to remember. But I am happy that all those affairs and flings happened because they helped me understand myself and my body as a woman.
And today, I have realized that I don’t want a relationship where I’m bound by emotions. A relationship with a friend or lover is always bound by anger, lust, insecurity, pleasure. Emotions should be neutralized. I want to practice how a relationship can be built without carrying its emotional baggage.
When I was in still in high school, my mother re-married. And my brother and I moved in with my second dad.
I was quite fine with it. As I said, though a little disturbed, I was essentially a happy child, so I never had these notions that my second father would snatch my mother away from me or something. On the contrary, my second dad was quite lovable. He used to take us to restaurants. I thought my mother was pretty cool too. At least she was honest in whatever she did. We didn’t share the traditional mother-daughter relationship but she was supportive in whatever I did, be it modelling (which I soon got into) or my raving affairs. She never tried to take charge of my life. She let me have my space which was good.
When I was in still in high school, my mother re-married. And my brother and I moved in with my second dad.
I was quite fine with it. As I said, though a little disturbed, I was essentially a happy child, so I never had these notions that my second father would snatch my mother away from me or something. On the contrary, my second dad was quite lovable. He used to take us to restaurants. I thought my mother was pretty cool too. At least she was honest in whatever she did. We didn’t share the traditional mother-daughter relationship but she was supportive in whatever I did, be it modelling (which I soon got into) or my raving affairs. She never tried to take charge of my life. She let me have my space which was good.
I was still a teenager when I began modelling. After I finished my 12th, I didn’t want to pursue studies any further, and I kept wondering what to do with myself. One of my friends said, ‘You look good. Why don’t you try modelling?’ And I thought to myself, why not? At that time, my second dad also passed away, and I was thinking of doing something to earn for myself. So I started modelling, and this was exactly 12 years ago. I remember going to Sishir Studio which was a cult studio in Kolkata in those days. And the scenario was completely different then. The modelling industry was not as professional as it is now. Someone referred me to this photographer who told me that a model was required for a spice ad and that I had to report to the studio the next day. I went; they took my pictures and gave me 1,000 bucks and I was thrilled! I told myself, this is it! I didn’t have to do anything. All I did was smile and went home with a fat packet. But it was not just money that drew me to this profession. It was my love for the camera, and this love affair with the camera has continued ever since…
My first big modelling assignment was for Biskfarm biscuits. My coordinator called me to say that I was selected and the shoot would take place in Darjeeling. I was delirious about travelling alone. It was a new feeling of independence. I would be working on my own terms. I started getting a lot of assignments – Khadims, PC Chandra, BC Sen, La Opala etc.
After two-three years of modelling, I shifted to acting in tele films and serials. My first break came with well-known director Jishu Dasgupta’s ‘Tithir Othithi’ (which was a very popular TV serial in Bengal). Someone from Jishu Dasgupta’s team called me and asked me to come over to their location which I did. He took one look at me and asked me to put on my makeup and there I was, shooting my first television project! I was a confident kid and that probably worked to my advantage.
After that, I did a lot of television serials for ETV whichI don’t remember now. And between 2001 and 2003, I acted in a lot of tele films and short films. There used to be these series of tele films titled ‘Shudhu Tomari Jonye’ and I worked with a lot of directors like Jishu Dasgupta, Rajorshi Mukherjee, Atanu Ghosh, Rabi Narayan Maota etc. I got a lot of critical acclaim for my acting. I worked with discipline and kept myself updated. But my real innings in acting was yet to come…
After two-three years of modelling, I shifted to acting in tele films and serials. My first break came with well-known director Jishu Dasgupta’s ‘Tithir Othithi’ (which was a very popular TV serial in Bengal). Someone from Jishu Dasgupta’s team called me and asked me to come over to their location which I did. He took one look at me and asked me to put on my makeup and there I was, shooting my first television project! I was a confident kid and that probably worked to my advantage.
After that, I did a lot of television serials for ETV whichI don’t remember now. And between 2001 and 2003, I acted in a lot of tele films and short films. There used to be these series of tele films titled ‘Shudhu Tomari Jonye’ and I worked with a lot of directors like Jishu Dasgupta, Rajorshi Mukherjee, Atanu Ghosh, Rabi Narayan Maota etc. I got a lot of critical acclaim for my acting. I worked with discipline and kept myself updated. But my real innings in acting was yet to come…
In 2003, I met Q. He is a filmmaker in Kolkata whose actual name is Qaushik Mukherjee but he is better known as Q. He is a big name in the alternative cinema genre but when I met him, he was just beginning to spread his wings. He was doing his first Bengali film ‘Tepantarer Mathe’. I auditioned for it, got selected and my life changed.
I completely forgot who Rituparna was and I was reborn as Rii. Rituparna was a big name and Q suggested I rename myself Rii. After that, since 2003, I made a conscious decision not to do mainstream cinema and television. And I detached myself from television completely. I became very choosy about my work and did films which were completely independent and driven by passion. I didn’t worry about how much money they made at the box office.
In fact, I don’t do films for the masses anymore. Q introduced me to dogma and underground (non-mainstream films). I watched Lars von Trier’s ‘The Idiots’, Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu’s ‘21 Grams’ and Gaspar Noe’s ‘Enter The Void’ and ‘Irreversible’. And my head got really messed up seeing all these movies. Lars von Trier’s ‘The Idiots’ had a big influence in my life and I wanted to do films which had nudity, and where I could use my body. I didn’t want to just put on makeup and stand in front of the camera. Discovering dogma Films ‘Tepantarer Mathe’, however, was doomed because nobody understood the film, not even the producer! When Q was shooting this film, I didn’t know what a dogma film was and neither did the people around me. A dogma film is not shot on a cinematic camera. It was shot on a PD 150 camera and it was completely digital. There were no extra lights, heavy production ware or a huge number of people which you commonly see on a film set. I learnt later about all this. A dogma film is a method of very realistic filmmaking started by two Danish directors in 1995, where a movie is shot in a natural setting with natural lighting. To put it simply, it is everything that a Bollywood or Hollywood blockbuster is not.
For me, it was something completely new. Detractors were bullshitting us because they didn’t know that a film could be made on digital camera. Things have changed a lot now but we were ahead of our times.
I completely forgot who Rituparna was and I was reborn as Rii. Rituparna was a big name and Q suggested I rename myself Rii. After that, since 2003, I made a conscious decision not to do mainstream cinema and television. And I detached myself from television completely. I became very choosy about my work and did films which were completely independent and driven by passion. I didn’t worry about how much money they made at the box office.
In fact, I don’t do films for the masses anymore. Q introduced me to dogma and underground (non-mainstream films). I watched Lars von Trier’s ‘The Idiots’, Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu’s ‘21 Grams’ and Gaspar Noe’s ‘Enter The Void’ and ‘Irreversible’. And my head got really messed up seeing all these movies. Lars von Trier’s ‘The Idiots’ had a big influence in my life and I wanted to do films which had nudity, and where I could use my body. I didn’t want to just put on makeup and stand in front of the camera. Discovering dogma Films ‘Tepantarer Mathe’, however, was doomed because nobody understood the film, not even the producer! When Q was shooting this film, I didn’t know what a dogma film was and neither did the people around me. A dogma film is not shot on a cinematic camera. It was shot on a PD 150 camera and it was completely digital. There were no extra lights, heavy production ware or a huge number of people which you commonly see on a film set. I learnt later about all this. A dogma film is a method of very realistic filmmaking started by two Danish directors in 1995, where a movie is shot in a natural setting with natural lighting. To put it simply, it is everything that a Bollywood or Hollywood blockbuster is not.
For me, it was something completely new. Detractors were bullshitting us because they didn’t know that a film could be made on digital camera. Things have changed a lot now but we were ahead of our times.
Q was growing as a filmmaker and I was growing as an actress, and we started understanding each other’s work. Q, at that time, was a part-time filmmaker. He had a good advertising job in Sri Lanka to fall back on and a mad hobby of making films on which he spent what he earned. He used to go back to Sri Lanka, make money, come here again and make films.
After ‘Tepantarer Mathe’, Q went back to Sri Lanka as the film didn’t do well. He came back to do his next film ‘Le Pocha’. Our relationship survived this period of separation. After ‘Le Pocha’, we did a film which changed our lives. That film was called ‘Love in India’. We were new lovers and were seeing how a city reacts to lovers in a relationship. That helped us do ‘Love in India’.
After ‘Tepantarer Mathe’, Q went back to Sri Lanka as the film didn’t do well. He came back to do his next film ‘Le Pocha’. Our relationship survived this period of separation. After ‘Le Pocha’, we did a film which changed our lives. That film was called ‘Love in India’. We were new lovers and were seeing how a city reacts to lovers in a relationship. That helped us do ‘Love in India’.
Q and I, incidentally, went to the same school. He is five years older than me. In fact, I remember seeing himin school but we obviously didn’t know each other then. Q was already married when we first met but to me, it didn’t matter whether he had a wife or child. Our films were at a nascent stage. We were working here in Kolkata and his wife was in Sri Lanka. Besides, we were young and volatile. And before long, I began spending so much time with him that I hardly ever went home. Of course, it didn’t go down well with my family. But I was so blinded by desire that I couldn’t think of anyone else – like my mom, brother or society.
But soon, I was in for a reality check when my family explained to me that they didn’t like it that I was not returning home at night. They didn’t like the fact that I was staying with a man; and that my body was full of love bites and scratch marks. It was something my family could not handle, and they freaked out! They gave me a bad time and even beat me up to make me come around. The scene was so violent that I felt I would lose my mind. That’s when I left home and moved in with Q.
But soon, I was in for a reality check when my family explained to me that they didn’t like it that I was not returning home at night. They didn’t like the fact that I was staying with a man; and that my body was full of love bites and scratch marks. It was something my family could not handle, and they freaked out! They gave me a bad time and even beat me up to make me come around. The scene was so violent that I felt I would lose my mind. That’s when I left home and moved in with Q.
He likes my smile and I love his madness. Together we make our film called ‘life’. We are happy just being together, and I don’t care what people say.
Before we moved in with each other, things were different. Everything between us was so crazy and romantic. After we moved in, things changed. Our relationship matured and we are in a much stronger relationship right now. Today, I am in touch with my mother but I don’t know whether she has accepted the fact that I am living-in. But I am sure she won’t dare to confront me. I am not in touch with my brother though. He and I are very different from one another.
In 2004, I acted in another docu-fiction ‘Many Stories of Love and Hate’, directed by Shyamal Karmakar. This documentary was screened at the Mumbai International Film Festival in 2010. Incidentally, the film was based on my life. It is the story of a girl from Kolkata who is an actress. A girl who had a miserable childhood because of the domestic violence she had seen between her parents. It is a very tragic story. I watched it once and I can’t watch it again. But the story was my story.
In 2009, I came back with yet another Q film named ‘Bissh’. This was a hard hitting film that stretched the limits of sexual morality. The story revolves around three women, old friends, who meet after a long time and remember the freedom of their early youth. They decide to relive their past and spend one night out in the city as sexual predators. And I play one of the girls, Bee, in the movie.
Then in 2010, came ‘Gandu’. The film was never released in India but it was perhaps one of the most talked about films in recent times. And yes, there was a lot of talk about the full frontal nude scenes I did. For all those whose eyes just popped out, yes, I’ve done nude scenes in ‘Gandu’. Some people use their eyes or face to express themselves; I use my body. It’s simple and organic. Period. I am an actor. When Paoli Dam did ‘Chatrak’, everyone went calculating who did it (the nude scenes) first. But I am really bored with this issue. And it’s not about who did what first but rather why they did what they did.
And I’m all for the cause of cinema and I’ll continue acting with my body. I want to push my sexuality in cinema to the borderline where it becomes extreme and dangerous. What I mean here is that I want to shock people! Sexuality is a cult for me. Sex in India is done behind closed doors, so when I am shooting nude, I am challenging my audience to be nude of all their inhibitions while watching the scenes. It may not happen the first time they are watching my nude scenes, but at some point people will recognize the language of the body. I am making a political statement with my body. Understand the politics of the body! I also have nude scenes in my film ‘Cosmic Sex’ which won me the best actress award at Osian’s Cinefan Festival of Asian and Arab Cinema.
However, what prepared the cast for the nude scenes in ‘Gandu’ were the several workshops Q made us go through. Anubrata, Joyraj (actors of ‘Gandu’) and I were mature artistes. More than thinking of how we were going to shoot the scenes, we realized the impact they would create and how we needed to prepare for them. The nude scenes were shot with a lot of on-the-spot improvisation in terms of the camera movements.
As an actor, I think nudity should not be a matter of contention as it is done all the time in world cinema. But ‘Gandu’ was a path-breaking film in many ways and not just because of the nudity in the film. It won the Jury Award for the Best Film and the Best Director at the South Asian International Film Festival. It was hugely appreciated in Rome and Berlin. It was shot on a shoestring budget with only six crew members and filmed in black and white with one scene in colour and had no official script. But when Q made the film, he knew the impact it would create. It was an anarchist film and it was out to shock - right from the name ‘Gandu’ which means ‘asshole’.
While there were people who praised me for my nude scenes, brickbats came my way too. Some people said I was letting people exploit me by doing these nude scenes, and that makes me really angry! All I ask these people is to come out of their inhibited mindsets. They don’t know where world cinema has moved to. Nobody is exploiting me to do these scenes. And if they are hell-bent on finding an exploiter, then I am exploiting myself.
My current film ‘Tasher Desh’ (Land of Cards) is based on Rabindranath Tagore’s dance drama. And it was screened at the 7th Rome International Film Festival and is now in theatres in India. I had no idea about the play before I was asked to act in it. Of course, I had seen some representation of this dance drama. But Q has adapted it in a very refreshing way.
I have just finished shooting another docu-fiction called ‘Saree’, also directed by Q. The saree is the oldest living garment in the world. The six yards of unstitched woven fabric is the national costume of the women of India, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh. The story of ‘Saree’ is beautifully woven through a love story and how desirable a woman looks in a saree.
People keep asking me why I work only with Q. To them, I’ll say I am just happy working with him. We work well as a team. Q worked in advertising for 12 years in India, Maldives and Sri Lanka. He directed over 50 television commercials, winning various awards on the way. Then, inspired by the independent films of Europe and Japan, he retired voluntarily and shifted trade and city. He returned to Kolkata and started a progressive art collective called ‘Overdose’, making original films, design and music.
Q’s films have a strong social and political message and we all believe in that message. Working in his films inspires me, makes me happy and hence I’m not keen on looking for work anywhere else. If something comes my way which I like, I do it, but otherwise I am happy doing Q’s films.
Love has changed me. What I felt for Q five years ago is not the same as what I feel now. It has been 10 years since we got together. To have a successful relationship, love counts. But love is only 2% of the relationship. The remaining 98% is about how you maintain the relationship. That’s what we do. We are very committed and serious about our relationship. I don’t know what keeps us together – must be the fact that we share the same passion for cinema. But Q is certainly the most important person in my life because he is not only my lover, but also my teacher. The kind of cinema he has introduced me to, the books I read and the lifestyle I lead, everything is influenced by him.
I eat, drink, sleep and breathe cinema. Every single hour of the day I am thinking or talking films – either ideating or discussing the production and planning work. People often ask me how it feels to be the top actress of contemporary alternative cinema and I say it’s been a struggle. Because what we are doing is not mainstream cinema. It is out of the box. From producing it to organizing the funds, we do everything for our film. And it requires 100% dedication. The silver lining though is that alternative cinema is booming not only in India but across the world. There are so many Indian directors like Kiran Rao, Q, Anand Gandhi, Anurag Kashyap and Dibakar Banerjee making such fabulous films. So our work is looking up and our struggle seems to be bearing fruit…
I have just finished shooting another docu-fiction called ‘Saree’, also directed by Q. The saree is the oldest living garment in the world. The six yards of unstitched woven fabric is the national costume of the women of India, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh. The story of ‘Saree’ is beautifully woven through a love story and how desirable a woman looks in a saree.
People keep asking me why I work only with Q. To them, I’ll say I am just happy working with him. We work well as a team. Q worked in advertising for 12 years in India, Maldives and Sri Lanka. He directed over 50 television commercials, winning various awards on the way. Then, inspired by the independent films of Europe and Japan, he retired voluntarily and shifted trade and city. He returned to Kolkata and started a progressive art collective called ‘Overdose’, making original films, design and music.
Q’s films have a strong social and political message and we all believe in that message. Working in his films inspires me, makes me happy and hence I’m not keen on looking for work anywhere else. If something comes my way which I like, I do it, but otherwise I am happy doing Q’s films.
Love has changed me. What I felt for Q five years ago is not the same as what I feel now. It has been 10 years since we got together. To have a successful relationship, love counts. But love is only 2% of the relationship. The remaining 98% is about how you maintain the relationship. That’s what we do. We are very committed and serious about our relationship. I don’t know what keeps us together – must be the fact that we share the same passion for cinema. But Q is certainly the most important person in my life because he is not only my lover, but also my teacher. The kind of cinema he has introduced me to, the books I read and the lifestyle I lead, everything is influenced by him.
I eat, drink, sleep and breathe cinema. Every single hour of the day I am thinking or talking films – either ideating or discussing the production and planning work. People often ask me how it feels to be the top actress of contemporary alternative cinema and I say it’s been a struggle. Because what we are doing is not mainstream cinema. It is out of the box. From producing it to organizing the funds, we do everything for our film. And it requires 100% dedication. The silver lining though is that alternative cinema is booming not only in India but across the world. There are so many Indian directors like Kiran Rao, Q, Anand Gandhi, Anurag Kashyap and Dibakar Banerjee making such fabulous films. So our work is looking up and our struggle seems to be bearing fruit…
